This could be a tear jerker for you because it is to me every time I read it. So let's get to it!
I have been through many things I thought my heart couldn't handle. I would always be surprised when another problem would come and I would have to handle or my heart would. Growing up I was teased, picked on and called other names beside the one my mother gave me. Now that I am older I am always wondering why the devil didn't just put me out of my misery. My heart couldn't handle the pain I was enduring at school from the people that bully me. The crazy thing about that is I love going to school. Times was really hard for me because my family was changing, couldn't afford the things I needed let along the things I wanted. I was in the house full of siblings and sometimes one parent bringing in the money was not good for the family because we had money going out faster than coming in. My heart handle that time of disappointment. I was anxious to leave home, curious to walk away and change my name or go to another family. It felt draining with the things that was going on around me but I kept smiling and moving forward. I cried almost all the time. Since I didn't do what most kids did back then, God gave me something, a gift! Reading, writing poetry, sewing and being adventurous was my outlet to get my mind on what was going on around me in life at the time. Don't get it twisted even though times was hard, there were also great times of my life like playing with friends, climbing trees, getting chicken pox (no school lol) , playing teacher, dress-up, and bonding with family. My heart went through different phases of my life as I got older, but the past had swollen my heart so bad I stop thinking about others unless they was really close. I played the role of an tough girl who took no crap from others, because I was picked on for so long, I had anger in my heart. It was a stone where my heart should have been and I didn't care. My heart was filled with grudge.
I had gotten to college still felt the same way but I wanted to change. It took me awhile but I finally laid my life down for Jesus Christ. He cleanse my heart of that grudge I had, and un-forgiveness. He put love, sweet, caring, forgiving, and grateful into this soft heart that was hard as a rock. He touched my heart and gave me new life to start over and be free: free from my swollen heart.
Is your heart swollen? Pray and let God in to soften the pressure.
"You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but 'you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:17-18 ESV)
Disclaimer... I don't know all the answers, but I do know someone that does JESUS!! Read about Him, search Him. He is a cool, merciful, loving, and so much more guy so get to know Him like I do.
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